I am proud to announce that I am a marketing professional. I have decided to share some of my great market experiences here, I have had in my life for your benefit. These will save you from embarrassment as well your pocket from unwanted attacks coming from different sources common in our country. I am hundred percent sure that no business school will teach you such lessons to you at any cost.  

Going to market with wife 

I have once before shared my pleasure of going to market with wife and please do not take it in a wrong way; this is all about going with my own wife. Because going with others’ wife is an altogether different experience, and there is no way you can deny the pleasure if anyone asks you in front of your wife even if you most dislike the disgusting experience. Going for shopping with your wife or with any woman for that matter is a pain in the a** because it is such a time consuming job and may even prove disappointing for you in the end because either you come back home empty handed or empty wallet.

Avoid such experiments

I would like to share a unique experience with you at this point to save you from emptying your wallet by showing unnecessary smartness, which does not work while your wife is with you and shopkeepers know your helplessness. I generally walk ahead of my wife to give way to other people present in the market who find it too congested if we walk together in crowded Indian markets but the scene changes as soon as we enter into a shop. My wife always grabs her opportunity as soon as we enter into a shopping area to take the lead, leaving me behind to follow her.

Back to my experience, which can save you from lot of embarrassment – when we entered a shop selling general items for ladies’ interest, a display card drew my attention, which read – “Onion Peeling machine- Rs 20 Only” being a mechanical engineer it immediately made me interested, as I wanted to check its mechanism. I approached the shopkeeper and asked him to show me the equipment because for only Rs 20 it could really be a big help for peeling onions. The shopkeeper handed me a rubber tube on my demand, which had no buttons whatsoever to switch it on. The shopkeeper smiled and showed me the process to peel an onion by inserting an onion into the rubber tube and rubbing it rigorously. Out came a half peeled onion at the end of demonstration, now it was my turn to smile, I could have peeled at least 10 onions without that ‘equipment’ but just using my hands and rubbing onions.

However, the situation was saved as my wife called me out from imitation jewelry counter. She wanted my opinion on the set of earrings in her hands. Now it was my turn to go through the test of marketing skills of this particular shopkeeper and handle the situation with utmost care. I asked about rates of those fancy looking but ordinary material casually, pat came the reply – ‘Only 200’. I gave him a helpless look. The shopkeeper smiled and made concession – ‘Okay it will be 150 for you’ I was bit taken aback and confused ‘for me!’ 

woman in market

The shopkeeper perhaps understood my confusion said reassuringly- ‘I did not charge you extra but gave you a handsome discount last time also’ I was more confused because I never had visited this shop before, maybe she was taking me for someone else but I did not want to make any deal with him. As you know me well that I am a marketing professional, therefore understand psychology of different people including my wife. 

I knew if I said that these earrings were of no use she certainly would not agree with me so I said ‘Looks a nice pair, go for it’ thinking she would certainly refuse my offer. But lo and behold- “pack two sets of these, my sister would love this design” and asked me to pay. Perhaps it is one of the toughest jobs to read a wife’s mentality especially if she happens to be your own. It is also possible she read my mentality better than I read her. There are more such experiences for your ready references.  

Aggressive marketing 

You know aggressive marketing is as much part of marketing strategies as polite marketing. I am good at different marketing skills including negative, positive aggressive, direct, indirect, suggestive and whatever it takes to be a good marketing professional but the experience that I had the other day is most unique of my life. I am writing it here, perhaps it might come in handy one day for you. It was on a day when my car was at service station for wheel balancing and I had decided to go to a nearby town by train in pace of official car because the dealer in nearby town was located just near the railway station and I had not travel by a train for some time.

On reaching the railway station, I found the train was delayed by forty minutes so I came out of station and decided to pass this time in a shopping complex just in front of station. After all window-shopping is good for heath and one of the best pass-time as well. You do not need buy anything but keep looking at lovely things at the same time (No pun intended). I found a raincoat shop open just in front, a safe shop as there was no rain around so least likely to have a temptation for buying one

.Yellow Raincoat

The shopkeeper a friendly looking fellow warmly welcomed me, perhaps I was the first entrant in the shop that morning. I had maybe spent five minutes before the shopkeeper caught me at one of the counters and asked – ‘What would like to have sir” 

I said, “I am looking for a raincoat” and asked the rates of a raincoat nicely hanging on a statue in the side display area. 

‘Rs six hundred as you are the first customer today’ smiled the shopkeeper in expectation

“Six hundred” I exclaimed, “Isn't it too high?”  

The expression of shopkeeper changed immediately “You must see that it is made of best quality of polyester with interchangeable lining and can be used in any weather”. 

“Okay” I said seeing his expressions and having nothing to comment or make any excuses as far quality went. “Do you have any other colors or only this brown one?”

The shopkeeper went in and came back 4-5 different colored coats. I was more worried and wanted to leave the shop, as the matter was getting serious.

“I was looking for a blue one but I don't see a blue one in this lot, don’t you have a blue piece?”

“No we have no blue piece right now” said the shopkeeper to allow me a sigh of relief but it was short lived as he immediately added “But we can arrange that” and shouted “Rocky” calling out for his servant. Rocky, his servant came on the double. The shopkeeper ordered him to go to next shop for to bring blue piece of raincoat of the same brand. 

This gave me a chance to make an excuse to get out of shop telling shopkeeper that I was getting late for my train and I could come later. Besides, it was enough time left for rainy season to commence.

The shopkeeper gave me an ugly look “ It won't take much time, besides you are first customer of the day” and when he was still speaking the sentence and it wasn't yet finished when the servant returned with 4-5 different shades of blue raincoats of the same brand. The servant placed those coats in front of me on the counter. I picked one, the price tag read – 750/ I saw a ray of hope, “it is costly”.

“How much do you want to pay?”

“I don’t want to take” but that was the biggest mistake I committed.

The shopkeeper got truly angry this time “but why”

“It’s too costly”

“How much will you pay?” he repeated the question

“I will pay 200”

Now it infuriated the shopkeeper well and truly and he started to pick all the coats from the counter, I saw my chance at this point and wanted to move out.

The shopkeeper said, “Do not try to make things so cheap, tell me a reasonable price you think should be right for this quality material?”

“Okay if you insist upon its quality, I think 250 will be just the right price for it” I made my final bid

The shopkeeper looked at me as if he was looking at a beggar “Okay I will give it to you for 500 and that is final, take it out”

“No this is too costly” and I made a move toward the gate, as it was almost time for the train.

“Stop man, where are you going, we don’t even let a beggar go empty handed in morning hours, give me 450 and take the hell out of here” 

Now that was limit of everything, I was now worried about my self-respect so told him finally that I shall not be able to pay him more 300/, ‘give it or keep it’.

He looked at me as if he was about to eat me raw and extended his hand toward me. I handed him Rs 300/, lifted the packet the shopkeeper had almost thrown on the counter packing it rudely. I took a final look at the shop, shopkeeper and the servant and made the final exit to catch the train. I wiped sweat from my face that was more of an effort to hide my face from shopkeeper and his servant. And to share a secret with you, I asked the rate of same raincoat from shop next-door on my way to station. It was Rs 150 with no bargaining. That is aggressive marketing for me now, which I had never learned anywhere else. 

Few more marketing strategies

We Indians are perhaps the best in the world when it comes to copy writing for advertisements. Most of us come across different display cards while shopping or wandering in the market, for instance you might have seen cards displaying “buy one get two” have you ever thought its meaning in reference to shoes? Whether they intend to give you two pairs of shoes or two shoes, one right and one left piece.

Or ever seen a display card reading “Now available in better taste” over the rack of pet foods? Now how do they know whether the pets like these foods better than before? Either the man would have taste it to verify or the pats would have to learn to read and write to confirm their claim.

Perhaps beggars are the holders of best marketing degrees. They invent and keep improving the strategies of refining art of taking money out of your pocket on daily basis. Beggars know best about physiology of masses, they can utilize it in their favor. They know if one person begins giving, others follow the suit. Therefore, they always begin their business with lots of coins and notes to start with. They even keep someone to pay to prompt others to pay. It is better known as neighbor’s tendency. If my neighbor has a car, I must have one, even if I have no money to pay installments. If my neighbor marries twice, I must marry twice even if my first wife is still alive. 

Conclusion of my story

If you wish to read my true story as a humorous post, that is absolutely your choice but the fact is that these are true incidents, maybe I have added a few sentences to make it look like a story. You can see such incidents in your daily life. You do not need to go to a roadside astrologer to buy a precious or semi precious stone to change your fate that will save your from such incidents because you know it well that if that astrologer could save anybody's fate, he would not be sitting there selling those stones. Another good marketer perhaps. 

Photos- wikipedia

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Comments (2)

  1. Gulshan Kumar Ajmani

Very nice experience. I really have no marketing skill. Hence I never go to market for fun of buying. I buy anything only when I feel necessity before visiting market and never make an addition to marketing list after entering shop.

  1. suni51    Gulshan Kumar Ajmani

I also do not like unnecessary waste of time and money but this was for the sake of fun and I have added it in jokes and humor. Thanks for your kind visit and comment.

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