POSSESIVENESS
Can You imagine someone getting close to the one you love even it be Your lover, friend or someone close to ur heart?feels like killing them. Right?The fear of losing those who are close Makes us possessive towards them, Which is obviously the reason why we lose them!!Do You feel pissed off when your friend, your lover, or smone you love talks or mingles more with some other girl/guy?Then you are posseive.Most of us are possessive,but only a few accept it.
Possesiveness, The unique feeling which does not bubble out towards everyone. Its something really close to the heart and which is showered on ppl who we feel are real close to us. But many do not accept it.Some feel it kills their privacy And disturbs them.
And Some people name it jealosy,but i say different, i say its possessiveness. On whom you are more possessed? It may be your friends,siblings or even your girl or boyfriend.At this occassion, i like to share one of my experience. my best friend,im just so possessive abt her, feel like killing people who try coming close to her.Just hate it and hate anybody coming in between us.
Possessiveness - like all other emotions.. is a manisfestation of human beings and their psychology.Possessiveness emanates from insecurity.. of what we would be without the person or feelings like we are the best.Anger at the same time is another emotion.All human emotions are inter-related.mbalance of one gives rise to the other.Thus possessiveness can pre-dispose into multiple emotions.Anger is just one of them.
When Possesivness happens you are in Love (in its most broad definition) You may not want to live your life with the friend.but atleast do not want to lose the friend.. Presence of others any closer than you are.. makes you jealous!This is a difficult situation to be in and more so dangerous because this can lead you to make mistakes which you would otherwise not do.
Balance! this also explains why lovers throw acid on faces of their girl friends.. This is not justifiable but a result of an emotional imbalance.And remember.. if you truly love someone, you can never hurt her if you feel like hurting the person you never loved the person!
Causes:
It is true that possessiveness hurts with possessiveness you start expecting a lot from her and when you see that it doesnt get fulfilled you feel hurt,it seems like hell to be in that situation and it feels like crying but then you see that its because of the person you love most.when the people we posses share time with someone other than us, when they talk abt someone more than talking aboutt us, when they respond to someone more than responding to etc, we feel our love is getting dispersed instead of reaching us.though it's not true at times, we tend to think so and that feeling cannot be explained in words.
Many would like to get rid of this, but actually it is very difficult, But it is true that only possessiveness brings out the true love without which you will not care about them and they wont care abt You,be possessive show them how much you really care for them and why you are so possessive. I am sure they will start to like you more than before as they will feel the true love and no one in this world hates being loved.
Real Incidents:
"You know something happens like when you call your love on phone and when you get the phone engaged, well for the first one or maximum two times its ok but the third time still engage what the damn you get."
we do get bugged when the phone's engaged,but cant help it, we may feel possessive,i do too,but we actually should think beyond that,have broad views that the other person would surely have picked our call when she or he was not attending some imp call/so we need to be a little patient, god!! feeling like killing the other person who has good relationships with our friend on whom we are this damn possessive,its really not a good thing according to me just my opinion, maybe you can realise one thing,even the other person would have felt the same with us when we attend some important call and get them waiting for a long time,who knows,if people cant understand your possessiveness,let them not we can't expect each and every individual to feel the same what we feel.life is beautiful,we must rid of this thing,it hurts but you have a solution to everything in this world,this is not an exception.
Possessiveness, is a good quality:
You feel possessive of your friends, and vice versa. It gives a feeling of care and closeness.Over-possessiveness is like a burden. When one seems to dictate the other and starts commanding. Time and space is equally essential in friendship, like love. Hence, over-possessiveness should not be there. It is like suffocation.
here is an example to differentiate possesivness and over-possesivness
According to me My thoughts will be filled of my images laughing, playing crying, eating with my friend. I feelnice to be with him again. Next mmoment i call him on his phone talk to him share some lighter moments crave to be with my friend. i am possesive about my friend.
He picks up the phone talks to me for a while i am happy, happier after a while we hang up. I again called him. Asked what are his plans he said he has something to study as his exams are fast approaching. I said fine. I went to his house in the evening where he was studying, talked to him for few hours. I went back home, had my dinner and went to bed. Before sleep i called him as to what are his plans tomorrow. He said nothing specifically, but plan to study. I told him i have a plan for him. Next day i go to his house pick him up and go out for some games. After a while, he want to go back and study. I insist to be with me and play for some more time.He agrees. Afterall he is my close friend. Now it is late evening. He says he wants to go back badly. I say lets have dinner and then go. He says no, but then i am his close friend, i insisted and he agreed. I decide what he has to do then i am over possesive about my friend.
"Imagine a group of five males and one female(One's girlfriend) haging arround together and cracking stupid jokes and giggling.This is what will be observed by his friends, if they see her with all her boy friends what his friends think about him and his girl friend"
What was more important ? girlfriend's happiness or what the world thinks. The world doesn't gain or loses anything These guys will always be mock spectators. Remember the story of the farmer and the son who lost their donkey because they cared only for the world and not the donkey. You should learn this lesson that over possessive is like a poison for any relationship.
"As long as keep your hand caringly open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to posses it, it will spill through the first cracks it find. This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet.
love they try to posses it, they demand, they expect and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you.For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.
Give and don't expect.
Advise, but don't order.
Ask, but never demand.
It might sound simple, but it is a lesson that may take a lifetime to truly practice.
Love and Let Love!!!
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