What is live in relation 

Live in relation is nothing but informal marriage. Just a simple ceremony under personal law- Hindu, Muslim or christian- or Under Special Marriage Act makes all the difference.  A couple living in a long term relation without formal marriage is said to be in live in relation. This differs from extra marital relation which is a relation outside marriage. In fact, live in relation itself is an informal marriage. Hence a man and woman living together on long term are as good as the formally married couple. Law also now recognizes this relation by providing some relief to a woman in such relation. For example, the law on domestic violence also protects a woman in such relation.

A few years back, many couples lived together without any formal marriage in Gujarat under an agreement called 'maitri Karar' (Friendship treaty). Such document is not a marriage document and as such living together under such 'Maitri Karaar' is simply live in relation.    

Live in relation may be a brief spell for better understanding  

Customary arranged marriage is decided by elders and the prospective couples hardly know each other. The trend has changed. Now unlike past, marriage is decided when children go adult. They are given chance to meet each other so as to know and understand each other better. But a few meetings give only a superficial understanding of each other. There is no way to know each other better than live as a couple. Live in relation enables the prospective couple to fully understand each other to the minutest detail. A live in relation of a few months or one year may lead to formal marriage. If the couple feels that they are not compatible to each other, they may easily break the relation. There is a tribe that requires a boy and girl to live together for some time and marriage is held only when the girl gets pregnant. Thus that tribe recognizes live in relation as a custom.

Limitation of live in relation shortcomings

Despite limited recognition of the relation, live in is not fully legal. If there is misunderstanding at a later date or unfortunately, the husband dies, the spouse in such relation will be at a disadvantageous position. Hence it is generally advisable to perform wedding ceremony- howsoever simple. These days, Arya Samaj conducts simple low cost marriages. Also there are group marriages of several couples. These cost less. Live in relation should be generally for brief period for better understanding. This should be like a period of probation in government service.

When live in relation suits more    

However thee are circumstances that make live in relation more suitable. Let us discuss these briefly:

1. When a woman has independent means of survival and has neither need nor desire to depend on husband's wealth and income, live in relation is more appropriate. Both spouses can live on their separate income and maintain their own bank accounts while contributing to common family expenses like children's education and domestic expenses. 
2. The man and woman are chronic bachelors and wish to have some company. They are at advanced age and do not wish to go through wedding ceremony. For them live in relation suits. 
3. The man or woman is family pensioner and formal remarriage may deprive him or her of the pension or other benefits. Live in relation, being informal and non statutory, will enable them to continue getting pension and other benefits.
4. The man and woman belong to different religions and so formal marriage will require conversion of religion. They may continue with their existing religious status by opting for live in relation.
5. The man and woman are not sure of long term relation. They wish to continue as long as they feel easy with relation. They may part conveniently when they so decide.  
6. Formal marriage is also considered unnecessary by some. When both partners belong to different regions and are at a particular place, formal marriage is unnecessary as nobody knows them. They may just live together. Others will consider them as married.
7. Some are in live in relation at big cities only for some purpose. It is difficult to get rented accommodation unless you are married. A single man or woman will not get rented accommodation. So, they may introduce themselves as husband and wife and get rented accommodation.This creates live in relation.

In short, live in relation is a marriage of convenience. This is best when a man and woman are both independent in every respect and they need nothing but company of each other.     

• Written by Gulshan Kumar Ajmani.
• In category Marriage.
• 11 years ago.

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