Top reasons for divorce: Part-2
No married couple wants to end up getting divorced. It is not like they have planned for it. They try to put up with their partners for as long as they can. However, when they see there is no other solution and they can’t take it anymore then they involve themselves in the legal process which is of course tiring and take a toll on emotions. Getting divorced is not easy. Moreover, if the kids are involved then the process becomes more difficult.
Below are mentioned some of the top reasons which lead a couple to divorce-
Inequality
It is important for both the partners to be equal to each other. Even if one partner lacks in some aspect, the other partner should not make him/her feel bad about it and try to overcome the void by appreciating every little effort. If care is not taken then it can bring resentment and thus, inequality becomes one of the top reasons for getting divorced. At any point if the couples fall out of harmony, start disrespecting each other then the marriage can no longer last for them.
Gaining weight
Though it may not sound right, still, it is a fact that many couples lose interest in their partner if they become overweight or obese. Weight gain will alter the physical appearance and thus, the other partner will fall out of love. Whereas the partner who has gained weight either due to pregnancy or illnesses loses self-esteem. Thus, weight gain drifts couples apart as they stop connecting with each other on physical as well as on emotional levels. As soon as the intimacy issues arrive, it is an alarming bell for happily married couples.
Issues related to raising the kids
Until the kids are born, couples have to deal with each other’s needs and necessities. However, with kids in the frame, the responsibilities add up. Couples who equally distribute the responsibilities and make every possible effort to fulfill them from their side will never face a problem. It becomes an issue in case of such couples where they start taking their responsibilities as a burden on their shoulders. If one partner is doing most of the work of raising the kids and the other partner does not care at all then such marriages do not last long. When kids come into the picture, everything changes. They impact everything. They impact sleeping hours, lifestyle and for sure priorities. Also, marriages end in divorce if couples are trying to raise kids very differently. Sometimes, there will be a difference in style of parenting. Since the pattern or style does not match up, there will be constant arguments leading to divorce. If both the parents cannot communicate and get together by finding a solution, they end up in divorce.
Also, some couples so much get engrossed in their parental duties that they forget that they have responsibilities as couples. All their time and precious energy are devoted to bringing up their children. They become more of the parents and less of as a couple. The real problem arrives when kids grow up and move on with their individual lives. Couples then no longer have the motive to put up with together and feel like they are living with strangers. They feel that there isn’t anything that is binding them together and there is nothing common for them. Thus, they end up in divorce.
Differences
It is said that two opposite poles attract each other. However, in a marriage, it is not necessary that relationships can keep the attraction alive. Sometimes, too many differences can ruin the marriage and couples are forced to split up and get divorced. Sometimes both the partners may not be belonging to the same religion and thus they may be culturally different from each other. Sometimes especially such differences may keep relationship lively and interesting as there will always be an element of surprise but as the relationship ages, the partners may grow apart from each other if they are unable to bear the emotional stress of such differences.
Commitment issues
When the couple gets married, they commit to themselves and they commit to each other. However, as time passes, the commitment weakens. Reason can be anything. It can be the fault of one partner or it can be due to the mistakes of both of them. Whatever may be the reason but lack of commitment leads to divorce. Thus, one or both the partners stop trying hard and put in efforts to remain married. They seek the easy way out and that is getting divorced. Most of the people do not want to put in efforts to correct the issues and work upon themselves and on their marriage so that they can stay married. Since it feels like too much work, they quit and get divorced.
Age factor
Age plays a major role in many ways for the marriage to remain successful. At a very young age, the couple falls in love and gets married. They don’t plan much and thus, they have to face lots of issues as the time passes in comparison with those couples who plan well and get married. Young couples who get married have to face financial issues, lack of knowledge about raising kids, etc. They do not carry enough maturity. Moreover, they don’t know how to communicate with each other when the issue arrives and thus fall apart and their marriage leads to divorce. Age or maturity helps a marriage in many ways. With age comes an experience which helps to live a successful married life.
Not willing to take support
It is common that couples face one or other issue in the marriage. When the issues arrive, they communicate with each other or else seek help from their near and dear ones such as family, friends, relatives, or support group and try to stick with each other in thick and thin so that their marriage can survive. Those who are reluctant to seek help and even cannot sort out the issues by themselves usually end up in divorce. Sometimes the issues become so enormously huge that they cannot be fixed. Don’t wait for so long. Couples who seek help from marriage counselors at the earliest can very well address their marriage issues. Those who don’t seek such help grow apart.
Inability to compromise
Conflict is common in a marriage. Conflict can be on silly issues or it can be on major life turning issue. The need of the hour is to communicate and will to work towards resolving it. Couples must know how to handle the issues and how to resolve them. The solution comes with a price. There needs to be made a compromise on either level. If one or both the partner disagrees on compromising then the problems persist. Thus, an inability to compromise can result in divorce.
Difference in priorities
Both the partners must be compatible with each other. If their lives are not on parallel tracks then it is very likely that they will end up in divorce. For example, one partner wants to enjoy a rich lavish lifestyle whereas other one wants to save the money for the future. One partner does not want kids or wants a small family and the other one wants a big one. Such differences can put an emotional strain on the relationship if they are not able to sit and communicate with each other and come up with a solution. Priorities matter a lot. More or less priority list should match with each other so that couples do not end up in divorce. Those couples who are not compatible with each other on the priority list and those who cannot come up with a solution will end up in divorce.
Lack of space
It is important for every individual to enjoy his/her space. Likewise in the marriage too, couples need to respect each other’s space and allow some freedom. If one or both the partners interfere too much with each other’s lives will create a constant conflict in their married life. For example, not allowing their partners to see their friends or travel are some of the issues. Also, taking away their freedom by making decisions for them in their personal as well as professional life is also hazardous for a healthy marriage. This kind of life which lacks freedom will force couples to get divorced.
Losing self-identity
It is important for everyone to carry their own identity. Getting married or being in a relationship no way means that one has to give up the identity and completely get overshadowed by their partner. Sometimes people do it willfully without any knowledge of it which is not healthy for a marriage. The other partner may lose interest because his/her better half has no will to carry out individually and has become too much of dependable. It may sound strange but yes, if one partner loses identity then it is very likely that marriage may fall apart. It is important to know what one likes and dislikes and not give up on them. Live life in harmony but by keeping the self-identity and integrity alive.
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